Strip Bar Etiquette

Most people already know the proper way to behave in a strip club, but after hearing some of the girls’ stories I decided to enlist their help to create some guidelines for Strip Bar Etiquette.

This is the chapter from my book, The Life of a Stripper: 50 Exotic Dancers Confess Their Personal Experiences in the Adult Entertainment Industry.

 

Common Courtesy

• Don’t take photos or videos of me – EVER! If you want to see a stripper transform from your biggest fantasy to your worst nightmare, take a picture. Keep in mind I have seven inch spikes strapped to my feet!

• Poking, punching, grabbing or otherwise touching me is NOT the best way to get my attention. Saying my name or a simple ‘Excuse me’ will work just fine. Also, please don’t try to hug me as soon as I get off the stage. I’m sweaty and wearing a clingy robe; I know you’re just trying to cop a feel.

• Don’t stereotype and assume that all dancers do drugs, drink alcohol, smoke pot or are sluts. And please don’t assume that we want to party with you – most of the time we don’t!

• If I let you near me for any reason, please do not see it as an opportunity to lick me. It’s gross and it doesn’t turn me on, EVER. It makes you seem sad, lonely, depressed, desperate and pitiful all at the same time. So don’t.

• If you see me in public, don’t approach me. I could be with my friends or my kids and for you to call me a strange name (my stage name), will confuse them and embarrass me. The relationship we have inside a strip club doesn’t exist in the ‘real’ world. Friendly, respectful smiles are acceptable though

• If you come to the strip bar after work and you can’t stand the stench of yourself, please go find the company of a hot shower before you try to get a private show. PLEASE. (Chicken Farmer Guy, this means you.)

• During a private dance, please refrain from dry humping me. You are a grown man, not a German Shepherd. Just behave.

• Give love and cheer to all boobies, big and small.

On Stage

• This should be obvious, but please don’t touch yourself when I’m on stage and don’t pull ‘it’ out. I don’t want to see it, I don’t want to touch it, I don’t want to see you touch it, nothing. This includes covering it with your sweater only to flash me and say, “See what you do to me.”  Ew, ew, and EW.

• When I’m naked and crawling around on the stage, DO NOT blow on my vagina. It doesn’t turn me on, and can actually transmit bacteria from your mouth to my nether regions! Gross!

• PLEASE do not steal pieces of my costume. I pay top dollar for custom costumes and if you steal my panties or bra, I have to pay a lot to have it remade (anywhere from $50-$100). Your trophy hunting costs me big $$$!

• Don’t lean into the stage. Two things: One, I know you are trying to ‘accidentally’ touch me, and two, you are going to ‘accidentally’ get kicked. I’m onto you. A related offense is leaning in to smell me or breathe on me – don’t do that. It’s kind of a serial killer move.

• Please don’t get up half way through my show and leave. Could you at least wait until I’m finished? Clap and show some appreciation. Smile if you like the show.

• Don’t make gross suggestive faces such as licking the air or your fingers. It doesn’t turn me on. It does, however, make me roll my eyes and move on to the next guy that can behave himself in public.

• Don’t tell me what to do on stage. Examples of this delightful encouragement include but are not limited to: “Floss it,” “Show me that pussy” (usually within the first thirty seconds of a twenty minute show), “Lick the pole,” “Flash the starfish,” and the now infamous “Open it.”

• Don’t use your cell phone at the stage. I have caught so many guys pretending to be texting, only to discover halfway through my show that they are filming me (see above warning about high heels as weapons).

Regarding Tipping the Dancers

• If you want to tip me, place the money on the stage and leave it there. Don’t wave money at me and then take it away when I get close only to say, “So, what you gonna do for it?!” Money on the stage is money spent. You are not getting a refund.

• Tipping me $5 does not entitle you to sleep with me.

• If you appreciate what you see, drop a couple bucks on stage. I’m not saying to tip every single girl, but tip your favorite. It’s nice to be tipped and we really do appreciate it.

• Don’t throw change on stage! Not only is it degrading, it’s a hazard. A stiletto heel and a mess of coins don’t go together unless you are trying to injure me. Forgive me if I don’t rush to collect your generous assortment of pocket change, but I don’t have any health coverage if I bust a leg.

• Don’t expect us to sit down and talk to you if you don’t tip us. Money talks. If you want me to sit down and make a big fuss over your buddy’s birthday, give me $20. My time is valuable.

• If you sit in the front row, tip the dancers! You are sitting in what is considered to be the best seat in the house. If you’re sitting there and not tipping, you’re taking up valuable space.

Talking to Dancers

• Save the “you could do so much better,” speech for your children. The best part is guys usually whip this one out during a private dance. Draw your own conclusions.

• STOP ASKING US FOR EXTRAS. We don’t do them.

• If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.

• Spare me the details of how exactly you want to munch on my pussy all night long. Stop talking dirty to us. It doesn’t turn us on. This includes telling me what you’re going to do to yourself later while thinking about me. (ed. note: Yuck.)

• Don’t compare me to your girlfriend. If she was that great (and not imaginary), you wouldn’t be sitting in the front row at two in the afternoon.

• Just because I’m naked on stage, it doesn’t mean I’m up for sale. It’s a strip show, not an auction!

• Don’t tell me your dick is the biggest I’ve ever seen. If it’s that big, you wouldn’t have to talk about it. I usually come back with “no, mine is definitely bigger.” That shuts them down pretty quick!

• Don’t ask us if we’re turned on when we are dancing. I was probably doing my grocery list in my head on stage.

• Don’t say to me, “Do I get a free poster, or what?!” The answer is OR WHAT. It costs me money to make up my posters, so I will gladly give you one if you set $5 or more on the stage for me.

• Do not ask me to go on a date with you, be your girlfriend, marry you or go home with you. You don’t even know me, just this fake persona. Wait, aren’t you that guy that tried to tip me with coins earlier?? Seriously, I’m working, not looking for a boyfriend or a one night stand.

Regarding Female Customers

• I don’t care what sex you are, do not touch me – EVER! Girls are the absolute worst for this. They get drunk and assume that because they’re not guys, it’s open season. They try to kiss, fondle and grab us off and on stage, all without asking permission or tipping a cent. And then of course they want a free poster!

• Don’t sit there and snicker, whisper, point and laugh with your gal friends about me. Ladies, admit it, you’re bad for this. Remember, I can hear you, and I’m someone’s best friend, too.

• Don’t bring your women to the strip bar if they will be bitchy. If you do manage to convince a woman to come, don’t make her sit in the front row if she doesn’t want to. We don’t appreciate women who sit in the front row with their arms crossed while rolling their eyes at us anymore than they appreciate getting dragged there.

 
Do you have a tip or story to share? Please let us know!